


The Choices We Make

by Tarma_Hartley



Category: Layton Kyouju vs Gyakuten Saiban | Professor Layton vs. Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Historical, Alternate Universe - Regency, Anal, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Boys In Love, Drama, Drama & Romance, Eventual Relationships, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, Explicit Sexual Content, Historical, I have taken some liberties with history, M/M, Men in love, OTP Feels, One Shot, One True Pairing, Regency, Regency Romance, Romance, Sexual Content, Smut, eventual romantic relationship, historical setting, men kissing, regency england
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-29
Updated: 2017-06-29
Packaged: 2018-11-21 04:47:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11350167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tarma_Hartley/pseuds/Tarma_Hartley
Summary: Phoenix, Ninth Duke of Claremont is about to make a decision that will affect both his life and that of his cherished companion Zacharias Barnham, Seventh Earl of Surrey.





	The Choices We Make

**Author's Note:**

> I was working on this for the past couple of months. My father passed away June 12th and I couldn't look at it for awhile until about June 26th or 27th, "finishing" it that day. Ha. I started editing it and ended up writing another six pages.  
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy my latest BarnWright fic.
> 
> Not beta read. 
> 
> Also posted to fanfiction.net
> 
> Reference on elder wine: https://janeaustensworld.wordpress.com/category/regency-drink/?blogsub=confirming#blog_subscription-3
> 
> Note: To any of my readers who are on Tumblr, i will not be back for awhile while I work through my grief. *I'm lurking.* 
> 
> My grateful thanks to all those who have expressed their condolences on Tumblr and/or through email; to my wonderful and FREAKIN A AWESOME husband, DezoPenguin and to all my amazing and wonderful friends! Thank you all for your love and support! I love you all! Thank you!

_16 December 1815_  
_Inn_  
_London, England_  
_8:30 P.M._  
  
The two lawyers rode up to the inn's entrance, pulling back their mounts who snorted in the crisp, chill air, snow swirling around them as they made their way carefully up the cobblestone street. They had been in London for the day and now were coming to this inn to seek shelter for the night from the storm that was shortly to arrive.  
  
The red headed man glanced behind him, the black haired man looking curiously at him as he did so but said nothing as they dismounted in silence, their greatcoats swirling about their legs in the biting wind. The innkeeper, who had been keeping watch for their arrival-they had sent word ahead that they would be arriving around this time-hurried out to meet them; he'd seen them make their way up the street and raced outside as soon as they pulled up to the front, welcoming them to his establishment; they acknowledged his greeting graciously with slight inclinations of their heads.  
  
To their query for shelter, he acknowledged that he had rooms to let and he was more than happy to assign them the two best rooms that he had available on the second floor. The two men agreed, passing along the fee that he requested for the rooms, any additional repast and for stabling their horses for the night.  
  
Duly paid, the innkeeper called for the groomsmen from the nearby livery stable, telling them to look after the gentlemen's mounts which they did, the two men taking each horse to a separate stall. He had one of his barmaids escort the two men to their rooms and they followed behind her in silence as she made her way up the stairs.  
  
She unlocked the doors to the rooms and stood back while they walked in, inspected the room; satisfied, they nodded to the maid who smiled back at them. They requested some refreshments; after the maid had left, they sat down, ready to wait out the storm, the cerulean blue eyed man looking intently at his slate-grey eyed companion.  
  
_I wonder.._. he thought to himself as he slowly removed his black leather gloves, his eyes never once leaving the other man. _I wonder..._  
  
He opened his mouth to start to say something but snapped it shut when the barmaid returned with platters of food and a bottle of wine. He chuckled quietly to himself as he stepped aside to let the maid put the platters down on the table in the middle of the room.  
  
_I guess there's always a chance for later..._  
  
**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**  
  
_10: 30 P.M._  
  
Zacharias Barnham, Seventh Earl of Surrey, and Phoenix Wright, Ninth Duke of Claremont, had been attending to both business and pleasure earlier that day in London: the business a case that they were working jointly on (and which had gone splendidly well) and pleasure for a little sightseeing and dinner before partaking of a play at the local theatre.  
  
They had enjoyed their evening together and had decided rather than attend any other function (they had been invited to three balls being held in the city that evening), that they would both retire to their room at the inn for a nightcap and private conversation. Admittedly, the thought of having to attend these soirees-with the accompanying marriage bait thrown at them from guardians and marriage minded mothers alike-was not to their taste and having a private supper alone was much more appealing.  
  
Granted, their decision had additionally been prompted by the ferocious snowstorm that was presently howling outside (and had for the past hour) but common sense won the day. They made plans to leave as soon as the storm had blown itself out and, until then, they could enjoy themselves.  
  
After making certain that their horses had been stabled and properly taken care of as they were both wont to do, Phoenix had the innkeeper send up some food platters, along with a bottle of his best elder wine, to their room for a private supper. They had enjoyed their repast, talking and laughing over a hundred different things as easily as if they had been close friends all of their lives.  
  
_It is astounding just how easily we conversed on any subject that we cared to._ He tilted his head slightly to the right, a soft smile on his face as he watched Zacharias, his hand boxed under his chin, unable to take his eyes off of his charming companion. _He is a most extraordinary man..._  
  
Phoenix's eyes had wandered over to Zacharias many times during the course of the evening and lingered on his face, his heart beting faster as he gazed at him, his right index finger caressing his wine glass unconsciously.  
  
He _wasn't_ entirely certain how Zacharias felt about the matter but he had decided earlier in the evening that he wanted to see _more_ of this charming young man … _outside_ of the courtroom _and_ social obligations that their respective ranks demanded.  
  
_We would have to be discreet but that isn't really a concern; we both know the risks should we be discovered._ Phoenix bit his lip and looked away. _He seems to be amenable to the thought from outward appearances._ His eyes flickered over to Zacharias once again. _I wonder how he feels about the matter?_  
  
They had been in each others' company more often than not in the past ten months, both in court and socially. Phoenix himself very much enjoyed their time together, whether or not they were facing off in court or meeting each other at one of the various parties thrown in London this season and admitted that he looked forward to getting together with Zacharias when, and where, the occasion demanded it.  
  
His thoughts kept coming back around to his uncertainty as to Zacharias' feelings but, at the same time, he had noticed that Zacharias was more attentive to him, and less so to others, as of late and he couldn't help but wonder exactly what had sparked the change.  
  
_I wish that out relationship would progress to its natural conclusion but I don't know if he would be amenable to that._ Phoenix looked at Zacharias through half open eyes. _Still, he IS a most charming, and witty, companion and far more entertaining than any play, novel or opera._  
  
Phoenix shrugged and returned his attention to what Zacharias was saying. They had, such as it was, been meeting like this for months now and Phoenix wanted to get to know Zacharias on a much more intimate, and personal, level. He also knew that his romantic feelings toward Zacharias wouldn't be appreciated by the public at large-even in spite of his rank which gave him a little more freedom to indulge himself and a bit more in the way of protection form prosecution of the law-but that didn't matter as both he and Zacharias were discreet, neither of them wishing to draw attention to themselves.  
  
_I wonder if he would be amenable?_ Phoenix stretched his legs with a sigh and then peered at Zacharias over the rim of his wineglass, his cerulean blue eyes sparkling, his lips twitching at the corners. He lifted his glass, taking a generous sip, mesmerized by the crackling flames in the fireplace and enjoying the wine as it slid pleasantly down his throat. _I would love seeing more of him outside of the courtroom and social situations but I don't know how he would feel about that. Still... it couldn't hurt to ask._  
  
Phoenix had enjoyed their day together and wanted to have more occasions in the days to come. Zacharias was a sparkling wit, full of mischief and good cheer; he was discreet; honourable but with a deep rooted sense of obligation that was astounding in someone of their society... and a _very_ handsome man as well. _Everything_ that he desired in a partner.  
  
_Indeed._ Phoenix's smile was saucy as he looked at Zacharias, admiring his handsome form. The Ninth Duke of Claremont was _not_ immune to the charms of the Seventh Earl of Surrey and he was surprised to see Zacharias' slate-grey eyes locked on him, his stare as intense as his own. He couldn't help it; he blushed and looked down for a time before he lifted his head once again. _I wonder..._ He tilted his head slightly to the right. _I wonder what he's thinking? Am I being too forward or...?_  
  
Their eyes met...and Phoenix felt his mouth go dry as Zacharias stared at him, his slate-grey eyes shining with undisguised wanting, yearning desire and wanton lust.  
  
_Could it be...?_ he wondered for a moment, his heart hammering in his chest. _Do I see what I think I'm seeing? Could he...be interested, as well? Should I...?_  
  
They stood in silence for a few moments until Zacharias swallowed hard, his eyelids narrowing, his hands trembling as he reached out, his shaky fingers grasping Phoenix's cravat and pulling him close.  
  
Zacharias' breath was hot on his skin as he bent his head, his mouth capturing Phoenix's in a passionate kiss and Phoenix swallowed hard, his breath coming through his nostrils with a loud hissing sound.  
  
_Oh...God... I...want this! I...want...him!_ Phoenix's pulse quickened as Zacharias pressed hot, passionate kisses against his lips before returning to press harder. He had fantasized about this moment many times but nothing compared to the reality of Zacharias pulling him closer, his gloved fingers tracing soft patterns on his back. He could feel his legs trembling as he sank into the kiss, his own arms slowly reaching up around him, his hands clenched into fists around his back.  
  
“Phoenix...” Zacharias' voice was soft but filled with longing and yearning as his mouth moved hotly on his, his tongue feathering over his lips and softly sliding in when Phoenix's mouth opened underneath his in clear invitation.  
  
Zach...Zacharias... Phoenix moaned softly deep in his throat, his fingers relaxing and spreading out over the small of his partner's back, slowly moving upward. He could feel Zacharias getting bolder, his hands exploring him much more enthusiastically than before. Phoenix felt liquid fire race through his body and his own explorations became more intimate, his fingers nimbly skipping up his spine, smiling underneath his mouth as he felt Zacharias shiver in excitement.  
  
He could feel Zacharias' pleasure in the hot, wet kisses he enthusiastically imparted on his mouth, the merry dance of their tongues as they tangled together, his fingers traveling much more boldly over the other's body, touching, tasting, feeling.  
  
Zacharias groaned against his mouth as he released Phoenix's cravat, his hand quickly sliding over his shoulder and cupping the back of his head, pressing against it firmly. His mouth literally devoured his as Zacharias urged him back, step by slow painstaking step, to the bed on the other side of the room and he gasped in surprise when the back of his thighs hit the side of the feather mattress.  
  
“Phoenix...” Zacharias moaned against his mouth as he urged him slowly backward, following him as he lay down on the bed and lying beside him, his mouth once again taking possession of his, his fingers skipping boldly over his chest.  
  
“Zacharias...” Phoenix's voice trailed off as pleasure raced through him, Zacharias' butterfly touches tenderly stroking and caressing him. He could dimly feel fingers skim along the waistband of his trousers, the slight tug as he pulled out his linen shirt from inside the waistband.  
  
Phoenix trembled with need, panting hard as he felt it lifted, shivering and moaning softly at the slight breeze slide over his exposed skin, his breath coming faster. He could feel Zacharias' clever fingers undoing the buttons one by one, his fingers tantalizingly skimming over his heated, aroused flesh.  
  
My God, he thought, his eyelids fluttering shut as he lost himself in the sensations, Zacharias' lips once again capturing his in a searing kiss. _Oh...ZACH!_  
  
He swallowed hard, a low moan escaping from his mouth, his fingers grasping the back of Zacharias' tailcoat, a soft exclamation as his lips once again pressed against his own, melting into his embrace. Their mouths slid against each other, hot and wet,their tongues once again tangling merrily. Phoenix slid his hands over Zacharias' side and pulled him on top of him, never once ceasing their passionate kiss.  
  
They had quite a struggle divesting themselves of their trousers but had at last managed to kick free of them, their hands sliding greedily over each other's sweaty flesh. Zacharias' head dipped down, his teeth latching on to the soft skin of Phoenix's neck, sucking hard. Phoenix cried out in mindless pleasure as his fingers scrabbled against Zacharias' back, grasping the sides of his linen undershirt. Dimly aware of the sound of tearing fabric, Phoenix ripped it apart at the seams with a loud cry of triumph, eager to get underneath at Zacharias' tantalizing skin, greedy to touch and caress it.  
  
Zacharias groaned as his fingers dug deep into Phoenix's salt-and-pepper hair, soft moans escaping from their joined mouths as he deepened the kiss. His hips drove downward as he ground himself against his writhing lover, delighting in the puffs of breath he felt against his mouth, Phoenix's soft, sweet cries of pleasure filling his ears.  
  
Dimly aware of the sound of tearing fabric, Phoenix grasped the sides of his linen undershirt, ripping it at the seams, eager to get underneath at Zacharias' tantalizing skin, greedy to touch and caress it.  
  
His fingertips glided over his slightly sweaty skin, bucking against Zacharias tas he thrust his hips downward, grinding himself hard against him. Phoenix moaned loudly, his breath coming in quick, ragged pants as he met his partner thrust for thrust, savoring the hot, dirty pleasure that raced through his overheated body.  
  
“Phoenix...” Zacharias' voice was hard and desperate, hunger evident in his tone as he continued to grind against Phoenix, his partner groaning aloud at the pleasure he could feel course through him.  
  
“Zach...” Phoenix gasped and thrust his hips upward. He was rock hard and teetering on the edge but Zacharias refused to give him the sweet release that he was so desperately seeking, slowing down his thrusts, panting hard with exertion.  
  
“P-please...” Phoenix could hear himself begging as Zacharias' lust-flushed face gazed down on him, his slate-grey eyes narrowed into pleasure, his lips half-parted.  
  
“Not..yet...Not yet...I...want to...enjoy...uhhh!... you first.” Zacharias bent his head backward, groaning aloud, his fingers twitching as they slowly slid out of Phoenix's hair, trailing languidly down the side of his face. He leaned down, planting biting kisses, and light love bites, down his jaw and he couldn't help but moan as he did so.  
  
Zacharias' teasing love play continued for some time; each time that Phoenix found himself teetering on the edge of a climax, Zacharias slowed his desperate thrusts and, once he had come down from the precipice, started thrusting against him, his hard, throbbing flesh rubbing hard against his own. Phoenix didn't know how much longer he could take this teasing before he exploded but luckily he didn't need to find out. Zacharias flipped him over onto his stomach and. Before he could even protest, he had pushed his way inside him.  
  
Phoenix gasped softly, his eyes closing, his fingers clutching the comforter. There was a slight amount of pain at the sudden entrance, but it soon wore off to be replaced by hot, stinging pleasure. Zacharias buried himself hard into him, his strong hands grasping his hips as he masterfully rode him, groaning and gasping as he did so.  
  
Phoenix lifted himself up on his hands, thrusting his bottom back at him as he thrust into him. The pleasure was so intense that Phoenix nearly passed out but he drove himself hard against his partner just as hard as he was driving into him. Both men were panting hard and shaking with exertion; it wouldn't be long now.  
  
Zacharias drove himself deep into him and held him there. For a few wonderful moments, he pulled Phoenix hard against him, his head thrown back until with a loud cry, he buried himself once more inside Phoenix, hot, salty jets of white liquid pouring into him.  
  
Phoenix wasn't far behind; while Zacharias sweated and trembled with the force of his orgasm, Phoenix drove himself hard against his partner and soon succumbed, ecstasy flowing through him like a tidal wave as he came, gasping loudly, white seed blasting on top of the comforter.  
  
Zacharias held him as he came, urging him on with soft cries, whispering such naughty things that he blushed to hear them but which excited him all the more, prolonging his pleasure until, at last, he collapsed onto his stomach, breathing hard, Zacharias still buried deep inside him.  
  
He chuckled tiredly as he lay down on top of Phoenix, his fingers moving aside a sweaty lock of salt-and-pepper hair, planting soft butterfly kisses along the side of his neck, murmuring words of love as they both came down from the peak.  
  
They lay there in silence for many moments until, with a happy contented sigh, Zacharias softened and slid out of Phoenix, laying down on his side beside him, pulling him toward him, trading weary embraces and soft nibbles.  
  
Phoenix chuckled as he looked at Zacharias through half-open eyes, lifting his arm wearily and tenderly caressing his cheek with his fingertips, his lips parting.  
  
Zacharias leaned into the caresses, closing his eyes and moaning softly.  
  
“You were wonderful, Zacharias,” Phoenix murmured softly, kissing his temple, chuckling quietly as he felt Zacharias blush.  
  
Zacharias' slate-grey eyes flickered upward to look at him, his expression serious. “So were you.” He said it simply and Phoenix felt a surge of love race through him. Phoenix cupped his face tenderly before he leaned down, touching his lips softly to his.  
  
They traded affectionate kisses for some time until Phoenix drew Zacharias close to him, once again pillowing his head on his chest. Zacharias snuggled contentedly in his arms. They lay for some time in companionable silence until Zacharias broke it. He was feeling mischievous as he lifted his head to look at Phoenix, his mouth quirking into a impish grin.  
  
“Well met, Your Grace,” he teased, winking at Phoenix before he had a chance to protest.  
  
Phoenix stared at him for a moment before he rolled his eyes. “Indeed, Your Lordship,” he replied smartly with mock sternness. Zacharias couldn't help but laugh and Phoenix soon joined in, trading weary busses.  
  
After some time of merriment, Phoenix reached out, gathering Zacharias into his arms and pressing his head against his chest, his fingers raking through his sweaty red locks gently. Zacharias chuckled once and then settled down comfortably, closing his eyes and enjoying Phoenix's tender ministrations.  
  
“Zacharias?”  
  
“Mmmm?” Zacharias' sleepy voice was happy though tired and Phoenix couldn't help the flutter that ran through his chest.  
  
_It seems that he enjoyed our lovemaking as much as I did._ He looked down at Zacharias, his fingers tenderly caressing his temple. _All to the better, then._  
  
“I've been thinking. I...would like to see more of you outside court if you would be so amenable to the idea.”  
  
Zacharias lifted his head, looking at him squarely. “Outside of court?” he repeated. “Do you mean socially or...?”  
  
“Both,” he quickly answered. “I would like to see you socially and...” He paused a moment before hurrying on. “...And I... want you to be my lover.”  
  
Zacharias' eyes widened at that and Phoenix had a sinking feeling that perhaps he had been too bold in asking Zacharias to become his lover. He didn't look unhappy about the idea, he noted; just startled.  
  
Perhaps I was too forward, he thought, biting his lip. _I hope I haven't offended him..._  
  
Phoenix couldn't blame him; it had all come out in such a rush that he hadn't had time to stop and phrase his question in a less forward manner.  
  
_Maybe that's all to the better._ He bit his lip. _I have the feeling that I would have stumbled over my words had I aken a few moments to think about it._  
  
Tense silence reigned between the two men for some time: Zacharias looking like he'd been hit by a board and Phoenix lying there, tension evident in every inch of his body. One good thing about it all was that Zacharias was still lying half-prone on his chest so at least Phoenix had some hope that the affair would work out in his favour in the end.  
  
Zacharias bit his lip, his eyes narrowed, his mouth twitching. He looked like he was mulling over something in his mind and Phoenix stayed silent, watching him anxiously. He had no idea what Zacharias was thinking about but the mere fact that he had been the one to initiate their lovemaking gave him a spark of hope.  
  
“I feel much stronger for you than mere respect for a respected rival or even a friend,” he said when the silence had at last become too much to bear, “and I know well the risks that we'll both be taking if you should decide to accept my suit but...I... am willing to take those risks. For _you_.” His hand wandered to Zacharias' face and lifted his chin to look up at him so he could see that he meant what he said. “I've had more than my share of regrets in my life but this is something that I am willing to put everything on the line for.”  
  
Zacharias stared at him and Phoenix took a deep breath, his gaze earnest. “I... I'm not sure its love just yet but something _very_ close to it. I... I've never felt this way before about anyone other than you, Zacharias, and I want you to be _in_ my life as my active partner, my lover, and not just a part of it as a cherished social companion or colleague.”  
  
Phoenix's fingertips ghosted softly over Zacharias' cheeks, tracing soft patterns on his skin, the other man shivering in excitement. “We all have to make choices in life, Zacharias, of what path we wish our life to take and I can tell you that there is no one else I would rather travel life's path than with you.” He smiled tenderly, tucking an unruly lock of red hair over his left ear. “It's your choice, Zacharias. Will you accept my suit and become my life partner?”  
  
Zacharias' eyes fluttered as he closed them a moment, biting his lip, maintaining his silence. Phoenix knew that the struggle would be a difficult one: after all, he had basically asked him to share a life in the shadows of society, on the outskirts of what was acceptable in their society, a lifetime of hiding in the dark.  
  
_That isn't an easy venture no matter_ what _rank you hold in society and I've basically asked him to become an outcast for my sake._ He knew that there were some of his rank that lived openly with their male lovers but these were few and far between; most men who's tastes ran counter to society's were more often than not destroyed by their tastes if they weren't discreet, charged with sodomy and thrown into jail.  
  
That was damnably unfair in his opinion; why should one be taken to task simply because they loved men or even women who loved their own sex? However, he knew that was the society they lived in and Phoenix had decided that he would be willing to gamble everything on the chance that Zacharias felt he same.  
  
The risks they would take getting into this venture would be enormous but Phoenix wasn't about to back down; he _wanted_ Zacharias in his life and in his bed and he would be satisfied with nothing less than a full commitment. If he decided that he didn't want to risk it and just wanted to keep their relationship casual, or even purely social, hard as it would be he would honour that choice and be as content as he could with it.  
  
_It would be damnably difficult but I want it to be_ his _choice. I don't want him to give me something that he isn't willing to._  
  
Zacharias looked up at him, his expression enigmatic. Phoenix felt his heart beat faster and he swallowed a few times but it was hard over the growing lump in his throat. More time passed and it couldn't have been more than a few minutes but, to Phoenix, it seemed like an eternity.  
  
“Have you decided, Zacharias?” Phoenix's voice was little more than a pained whisper.  
  
Zacharias nodded, his expression serious. “I have.”  
  
“And?” Phoenix could barely get the word out over the painful lump in his throat.  
  
Zacharias smiled and, lifting himself up on one arm, reached out, cupped the side of Phoenix's face in his hand and leaned forward, pressing a passionate kiss on his mouth, Phoenix's startled gasp buzzing pleasantly against his lips.  
  
“I accept.” Zacharias' lips twitched into a dazzling smile and Phoenix felt his heart lift as he returned the passionate kiss, his other hand lifting, his fingers digging into Zacharias' red hair, murmurs of pleasure coming from each man's mouth, Zacharias wrapping his arms around Phoenix's neck.  
  
After they parted, Phoenix rubbed the tip of his nose against Zacharias', the latter chuckling with amusement before he gathered Zacharias into his arms again, holding him close and kissing the top of his head tenderly.  
  
“I'm glad, Zacharias.” Phoenix's tone was soft, though sincere and Zacharias could hear that he meant every word he said, the expression on his face confirming the truth of his words. “I'm so glad!”  
  
They held each other close for some time in silence, both men just enjoying the closeness. Phoenix could see, over Zacharias' head, that the snowstorm had begun to pass; instead of hard splatting noise against the window, they were now soft pings which meant that it would be passing soon. Until then, he was content to watch as it silently fell to the ground, his heart so full of joy that he thought it would burst.  
  
_Never did I dream that I would be this happy in my choice of partner._ He smiled softly as he watched the snow fall. _A surprise, indeed._  
  
“Zacharias?”  
  
“Mmmm?” came his sleepy reply as he raised his head, looking owlishly at him. Phoenix chuckled.  
  
“I was curious as to why it took so long for you to answer.” Phoenix tilted his head slightly to the right. “Was it a hard decision for you to make?”  
  
Zacharias shook his head. “No. It was quite simple, in fact.”  
  
Phoenix frowned. “Then...?”  
  
“I wanted to be absolutely certain that you were serious about your offer.” Zacharias' voice hardened, his eyes narrowing, his mouth tightening at the corners. “I've been led about before and I wasn't about to accept if I _wasn't_ certain if the motive was sincere.”  
  
_What?_ Phoenix's frown vanished and he held Zacharias tightly, closing his eyes, his jaw clenched.  
  
“I would _never_ do such a thing to anyone, Zacharias.” His tone was matched equally by the hurt expression on his face.  
  
“I _had_ to be sure, Your Grace.” Zacharias' expression was unhappy and Phoenix stifled the objection that was rising to his lips. “Forgive me if I caused you any pain but I _had_ to be sure.” He looked away for a moment. “To some, it is nothing more than a game to be played whenever the mood strikes and there is no concern over who might be hurt by it.”  
  
The pain in his vice was real and Phoenix couldn't blame him for wanting to be careful. Once someone broke your heart, giving little or no thought to you other than their own selfish pleasure, would indeed harden someone and make them a little reticent to give their heart again so freely.  
  
“There's nothing to forgive, Zacharias.” He smiled at him, turning his head back toward him as he kissed Zacharias' lips tenderly, his fingertips stroking his skin gently. “I understand.” He sighed. “I'm sorry that it happened to you, Zacharias, truly sorry.”  
  
Zacharias nodded but remained silent though his grip on Phoenix tightened; the meaning was clear.  
  
_Poor Zacharias!_ He kissed the top of his head. _I'm sorry for all the pain that wretched creature who did this to you caused you. I can't do much to erase that but I can make sure to provide balm to your heart._  
  
“I know that this, perhaps, _isn't_ the most proper, scintillating pillow talk but...”  
  
“It was necessary.” Phoenix nodded. “I understand. The choices we make in life determine our path and I can't fault you for wanting to protect yourself from further hurt.” He was silent a moment. “I have never had my heart toyed with in such a callous manner before, though I have had relationships that ended quite badly.” He stroked Zacharias' cheek tenderly with his fingertips. “I cannot say that I understand the pain you suffered but it is abundantly clear that this person hurt you, _very_ deeply.”  
  
Zacharias blushed and nodded. “I'm glad that you think so; I know that others might not be so generous in their understanding.” His jaw tightened. “And, yes, he _did._ ”  
  
“Not to worry.” Phoenix kissed him, his eyes shining, his fingertips lingering on his skin. “You've nothing to apologize for. Had I been in similar circumstances, I would have done the same.” He brushed a stray lock of Zacharias' hair out of his face. “So how can I fault you for doing what you needed to do?” He narrowed his eyes in mock sternness. “Though, admittedly, you _could_ have chosen a _better_ time.”  
  
“I _will_ grant you that.” Zacharias sounded embarrassed and Phoenix couldn't help but chuckle while he gave him a sour look.  
  
“Enough, Zacharias. Let us not worry over past hurts or even hypothetical ones; instead, let us concentrate on that which is before us.” Phoenix's gaze was loving, his cerulean blue eyes shining with emotion. “As I said, I want to see where our relationship takes us and I want you to be more to me than just a respected rival and cherished companion. I want you to be my lover.” He paused, taking a deep breath. “Am I to understand that you wish the same?”  
  
“Yes.” The tone in Zacharias' voice was unmistakable. “I do.”  
  
Phoenix smiled, tenderly caressing the side of Zacharias' face. “Then let us see where it takes us, shall we?”  
  
Zacharias chuckled as he leaned in closer, his eyes gleaming with mischief.  
  
“I'd like nothing better.” His voice was husky as he paused a moment, grinning impishly as he breathed out the words. “Your Grace.”  
  
“Shut up, Your Lordship.”  
  
**.:FIN:.**

 


End file.
